10.2.12

Bad day

Have you ever had a bad day? Have you ever felt like everything you did that day was always wrong? Have you ever felt very lonely although you had a lot lot lot of friends? Have you ever felt unwanted? Have you ever felt like you lost somebody you really love and care about? Have you ever felt like no one could understand you? Have you?
I had a bad day today. Very bad day. Like everything I did, it was always wrong. I felt unwanted, I felt lonely, I felt like I had no friends at all, I felt like nobody understood me. I felt like I lost my best friends. But wait... do I have a best friend? I asked myself that question so many times today.
For me, a real best friend is the one who always be there for you, when you're happy, sad, bored, angry, jealous, annoyed, or others. A best friend is someone who you can go crazy with, who care about you like you're her twin, who you can trust 100%, who would tell you any of her secrets, and of course who don't talk about you behind your back.
I kept asking myself that question. And... I think, of course I do have a best friend. But, she's not perfect. Neither am I. And that's the point. Complete each others.
But keeping your best friends is a very hard thing. And admit it. Sometime you're jealous when your best friend is hanging with her other best friend. But I found it difficult too. When you have more than one best friend, and you want to keep all of them without forgetting one of them. And I asked myself again, we can have more than one best friend, can't we? But, do they think I'm their best friend too like I think they are? Or maybe I'm just too confidence to think I'm their best friend?
The most miserable thing today : I realized I'm the kind of person who likes to cheer everybody up when they're sad, but have nobody when I'm sad. Hahaha. Soooooooooooo tragic$20and pathetic.
Maybe I do make a lot of mistake. But I'm trying not to. I wish there were someone who could understand me, forgive me for all of my mistakes I made, and still wannabe my friends even though I'm so annoying and make a lot of mistakes. Of course I want to change, so please help me and don't make me feel like I'm unwanted.
Anyway, I learned a lot today, and I hope I would be a better person after this. And even though there's no one there for me, there's God who always be there :) No need to be sad an lets cheer yourself up, Mira! :D

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